My Adult Observation

I am a discreet gay. And I admit it that to myself. But as of now, I'm still in a shell that afraid to show the inner me. My first date was with men. It was when I was inhigh schoolyears wherein I had joined a school activity. My classmate was a handsome guy. But I didn't know about gay thing that time (though I alreadyadore men)because of course, It was still in ahigh schooldays. And as we all know that those days were more fun.

It wasAugust of year 1999 when our school celebrated United Nations Month. My cute classmate proposed a date to me at the park in front of our school. His proposal made me eager to go with him because I really really like him. It was not in my mind in dating men because I was still innocent that time in gay thing. Then the thing goes on, we date each other and talking and jumping and eating with junk foods and everything that a child did. After that date, he said that I should be in their house because the next day was his birthday and there were a little celebration for it. For me, I said the answer "SURE" aggressively. Then the night stop when he was called by his mother to go home. When I went back to the school, my girl friends was already looking for me and scolded me because I wasn't able to perform my task at the program. one of my friend is asking " where have you been? Your supposed to be the Mr. China earlier but your not there!" I just told them, " I don't care if I miss my part. All I care is that I have date with Jordan." All of my friends answer in chorus " What? You mean your a gay?" Then I said, "I'm not, it's just like I loved to have a date with him." Then my Gina, a closed friend and a neighbor or mine, told me that dating men is a sin. Then I told him " Oh really? I just knew it now because you told me." After they heard my answer, they all walked out and Gina said, " You are a gay because you have date with men and dating men is s sin".

I went home with a feelings of depression for what had happened to me for my friends. I felt that I was crucified by them just by dating with men. For me, dating men at that time was just a mere play. But to them, what I did is a heinous crime that no one could accept.